haiz, all my thought gone alrdy lar, aiya, now blogger den fine, sian-ness =.= seriously, if it happens agin hor, i'll either switch to xanga, livejournal, wordpress, or other others alrdy man =3= but if given a choice, i might chose wordpress, since i alrdy have an account :P the only thing is that the skin will be hard to alter, coz i'm not familiarize with how it works.
so please mr/ms blogger, don't cork up again =.=
anyways, since all my thoughts are gone, i shan't say them. however, i shall say what happen today/ytd's performance at Victoria Concert Hall. WOOTS!
anyways, today was really something. it's gotta be one of my most convicted, most motivated day of my life. Early in the morn, i went to borrow blazer from felix (which happen to be a bit big BUT it's smaller den the previous one, so thanks felix ^^), den at around 12 noon, i went to jame house to take back my clothes and formal shoes (but i forgot my belt), den, left house at 3pm to head down to blk 521 only to realized mr boss not there (sian-ness) and cabbed down to VCH (double sian-ness). hahaha, but it was all worth is, coz it was enjoyable, fun, and i probably know why God placed me there. He really does plan everything for you as long as you listen and follow Him.
But before i go there, i shall continue my story. reach there and realized they were having a break, den we had rehearsal twice with the conductor and orchestra and a little bit of arranging ourselves on the stands.
after that, we had dinner first, den a phototaking session, and i kept worrying how i'm gonna smile naturally. lol, but it was seriously fun to the max core ^^ den they said they gonna celebrate on wed gg to pub (which the choir mbrs insisted that i cannot go coz i underage T_T). den we were slacking in the waiting room while the concert started since ours was the last event. slpt inside for like 30mins man, was super tired while the choir was so busy camwhoring.
then annabelle came in (during the intermission) to talk to us and camwhore with us oso, hahahaha. den we prepared to go perform. woots!
I dunno whether is this true or wad, but weiye said that the presence of God can be felt the moment we started singing the very first sentence. I can't be sure whether is that true, but i was shaking real badly like, real badly man. i wasn't nervous, perhaps a bit, but there was no reason for me to shake that badly like seriously. i was smiling and singing to my(our) hearts content, i could feel everyone's singing from the bottom of their heart and smiling, like literally. i kkow myself, when i shake real badly, my face will usually show it, but today/ytd, i din even show it, i was trying to control it, but i feel my face smiling brightly even while singing. i feel peace also, much more since i really seriously DO NOT feel nervous at all the moment i sing(though i admit, i was nervous about whether my smile make annabelle's expectation a not, the fact that she caught me slping during service once T_T)
enjoyed today really well ^^ the conductor was walking in and out like 10times(according to weiye)[classical music concert culture i think] man, super fun and hilarious, hahahaha. den we when to level 3 to kope food like crazy man, literally. we were snatching, bargaining, laughing like we owned the entire place, hahahahahah.
den we went home(realized that weiye oso live in woodlands, hahahahahaha)[together with arron of course]{and i found out his real actual name without his christian name, but i won't reveal it, hahahaha
super lengthy post i know, pardon me, but i don't usually type this much, but today was simply awesome ^^
ok, regarding God's calling in my life. I shall be honest, because i wanna share this to everyone who knows me in my life, including christians and non-christians.(another lengthy one, you might wanna skip this and read tml if you like, hahahahaha)
i met choir peeps early this year, and i enjoy being with them, to the fact that when God first called me to change ministry to choir, deep in my heart i desired it, yet, i don't want it to be a case of regret if it's not God's calling. praying to my God, i found out it is really really God's calling.
The reason? It happen in early august this year. Before august, i joined choir in july and immediately have a clique with candice and rubez and justin and joseph and gang...ok, maybe not a clique, but these are havoc people the fact that they enjoy hanging out. Early august, i felt spiritually dry, and was on the verge of backsliding, but God knew my heart. He knew that i was someone who enjoys company and don't like to make new friends for only a few days and left them. in another way, i also don't want to have facebook friends whom i don't know very well just added me and then i left straight after. Choir persuaded me to stay, if i was still in usher, i might not even be putting this post here right now.
Now, God has renewed my heart with the newly combine N423, the words spoken by Calvin, the man whom God placed into Zhen's life and also replaces Zhen as a guide to me. Sermon preached by Rah and Pastor, which really goes all the way back into foundation, the basics.
Gods has given me a new motivation, to learn music, appreciate music, get to know music, and play and sing music. Yes, it's a motivation, because i wanna learn more, and the more i learn, the more i crave for it. And because it's closely in sync with learning more about God, i wan God to be above music, i wan to sing and play music for my God.
I'm not musically talented. I don't play much instrument, at most, a little of this and that. I can't hear different pitch very well, i can't vary my pitch very well even. i can't make my voice go one octave lower or higher without a guide. In all sense, i'mma music idiot.
But here's the revelation, The revelation God wan to let me know, (amazingly while i'm blogging all this), is that the same goes for learning about him. You don't know him very well. You can't do as much miracles that God He Himself can do. At most, a little of this and that. You can't hear his voice as often as you like. Sometimes you doubt whether is it the voice of God, and you question this voice. And there are many many things you cannot do with a guide, mainly without the Holy Spirit and the Word. In all sense, we are human, and a fallen kind.
However, this is the revelation, as much as you can learn more and do more with music, with pitching, You can learn more and do more with God, and with Him in your life. Singing is a challenge to me, and learning and moving in faith with God is a challenge to us. But who says we cannot conquer them? Many singers are good in music, many pastors is spiritually powerful and in touch with God, so why can't you? why can't I?
All in all, God want's Choir to serve as a guide for me, to seek after Him, as much as i wanna learn more about music, it's not easy, but it's not unachievable.
P.S sorry seriously for this super uber ultra lengthy post, hahaha
